


Act of Love

by CrzA



Series: The RFA behind closed doors [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Begging, Biting, Body Worship, Edging, F/M, Fingerfucking, Insecurity, Jealousy, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Praise, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Teasing, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:07:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8604736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrzA/pseuds/CrzA
Summary: Zen's new production has him act alongside a beautiful woman he's supposed to be madly in love with. His scenes with her, that you see in his rehearsals, have you spiraling down into a dark bubble of self-doubt. When Zen sees the changes in your mood he can't help but feel scared that something's wrong. He won't have you feeling this way anymore... He'll show you how much he really loves you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in the Mystic Messenger fandom and my second smut ever, so please be gentle ^.^

He’s an actor… This is his job… It means nothing… You keep telling yourself these things over and over again, hoping that at one point you’ll start actually believing them. But the more times you come by his rehearsals and see his scenes with her… Why does it feel like your insides are burning? And not in a pleasant way at all.

You bring your hand up to your lips and start chewing at the thumbnail, a bad habit that you should quit, you know, but you can’t help it. You’re barely even noticing it as all you see is his hands on her face, his eyes looking into hers, his words of love directed at her ears. It’s so convincing and you find yourself struggling with your thoughts.

The rational part of you is saying that you should be proud, because he’s so good at what he does he can convince anyone to trust that those uttered words are the absolute truth. And yet your heart is thumping wildly in your chest, the harsh beat ringing in your ears as your throat closes up and makes it hard to breathe. Your mind drifts to those thoughts that you try to keep away. A plethora of ‘Whys’ and ‘Whats’ that plagued you throughout your entire life but seemed to get more intense and crushingly painful when they were about him. Why would he be with you? What did he see in you to make him love you? You were so plain… Nothing like him. Why wouldn’t he want someone beautiful like the girl standing there before him? What made you any better than her? What was stopping him from finding someone else?

His lips touch hers and you can’t stop the gasp that escapes your very own. Immediately you turn away from the scene, ready to get as far away as fast as possible. But just as your hands (which appear to be shaking slightly) touch the doors that will lead you outside, Zen’s excited voice echoes through the mostly empty hall, your name soft and sweet coming from him. Your entire body tenses and you squeeze your eyes shut, bottom lip taken hostage between your teeth’s deathly hold. You could almost taste blood.

His footsteps sound all around you, the other actors’ and the director’s voices momentarily silent as they see their lead stop everything he was doing to come to you.

“Where are you going? You just got here!” He chimes, smooth voice now closer, the tiniest bit breathless from the short run up from the stage at the bottom of the theatre.

 _Deep breaths._ You tell yourself. _Smile now, you can’t let him see you like this._ You turn on your heels, the corners of your lips pulled upwards with such great effort it almost hurt. You hope against hope that he wouldn’t notice how forced your expression was. If he did, he hid it well, not even wasting a moment before snaking his arms around you and pulling you close to his toned body. He kisses you with those lips that were just on the girl that’s still standing on the stage, now off to a side with a bottle of water in hand, but you didn’t notice. When Zen kissed you, the whole world around you melted away, fizzled to an unimportant nothingness that you couldn’t care less about. For those sweet, however short moments, your poisonous thoughts dissipate.

You pull back from each other, both smiling, this time yours is genuine too, if only for now while his spell still had you enchanted. He was mesmerising, charming, intoxicating. His very presence made your heart quicken and your breath catch. Being this close to him, be it the first time, or the millionth… It made you forget everything but him.

Zen’s hand brushes over you pink tinted cheeks. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, smiling softly down at you before taking your hands in his. “I’m almost done, will you wait here for me, please?”

Without even thinking, you nod your head meekly, still speechless, unable to formulate complete sentences inside your brain, let alone speak them. It only registers what you’ve agreed to when he starts dragging you down to the front row seats with him. Instantly you regret the state he leaves you in, having accepted to stay and watch more and up close how he declares his undying love for the beautiful actress to perform alongside him.

You sit down wordlessly, head hanging low as Zen walks back up on stage. Crossing your legs you fiddle with your thumbs on your lap for a while, trying to tune out the rehearsal that goes on undisturbed. Eventually you dig your phone out of the little purse you always carry with you. You log into the RFA chatroom to distract yourself. Yoosung is there and you find yourself smiling a little when he starts going on about his latest achievement in LOLOL.

“I will never stop loving you. No matter what the world throws at us, we will always get through it together.” Zen’s words invade your thoughts and you clench your hands so tightly around your phone, your knuckles turn white.

“Kiss me.” The woman’s singsong voice resonates and your gaze rises up to look at the scene.

One would think you a masochist, certainly. Because the pain that stabs through your chest when you see Zen comply with her desperate plea is greater than anything you remember feeling. It takes everything you have not to get up and storm out of the theatre but the bitterness that rises in you, _that_ you can’t stop. It leaves a foul taste in your mouth. Deep down you know it’s silly to feel this way if his greeting is any indication. Yet you can’t get yourself to think clearly, your mind clouded by the jealousy and the feeling of unworthiness.

How could you ever deserve a man like Zen? Of course his feelings for you won’t last. You’re just a novelty, someone who happened to show up at the right time to comfort him when he needed it. Soon the shiny new thing will lose its lustre… He’ll see it eventually. How unremarkable you are. How inadequate… How not like all those pretty, talented girls that act alongside him.

These feelings linger. They fester as he finishes going through his scenes one more time. At this point not even the chatroom can keep you from staring intently at the stage. You feel your features twisted into a small frown, brows furrowed together, lips turned downward, eyes dark and filled with sadness and self-loathing.

Finally, after an agonising eternity it felt like, Zen is done with rehearsals for the day. He grabs his stuff and gets ready to leave, ignoring the stairs to the stage entirely and just jumping down. Walking up to you, he offers you a hand and a gentle smile. You hesitate for a moment but eventually take his hand, slender fingers entangling with your own. You make your way out in a stiff silence, avoiding looking at his face because if you do, you might start tearing up. His beautiful face holds love you can’t bring yourself to believe you deserve. His red eyes look at you with an adoration that you can’t trust will last.

It will end soon. You shouldn’t get too attached.

You chew on the inside of your cheeks hard, trying to focus on that pain rather than the sting of tears that threaten to spill from your eyes. You chant a mantra of ‘calm down, stop thinking like this’ inside your head, not noticing Zen calling for a taxi to take you two home. With robot-like movements you climb inside, the white haired actor following suit.

The entire ride you don’t utter a single word, looking out the window in order to not let your eyes fall on him. If you let yourself look into his eyes you’ll forget the truth and it will only hurt more when it comes to be. Whenever he reaches for you, you flinch. Each little twitch of your hand to get away from him feels like you’ve burned him or dug a knife into his heart. He notices how distant you are, how hard you’re trying to avoid him. It hurts him deeply.

When you’re inside the house at long last, you mutter under your breath that you need to use the bathroom and excuse yourself before Zen can even open his mouth to say anything. You lock the door behind you and that distinct clicking noise knocks the wind out of him.

Your breaths are shallow and ragged and you try your best to calm yourself down but the more you think about Zen the more your heart aches. You love him _so_ much. You shouldn’t be acting this way, it’s unfair. He’s shown you nothing but love and care.

But it won’t be forever. He’ll get bored of you soon.

You shouldn’t think that way, what did he ever do to make you feel like he’d leave you?

But why wouldn’t he when you’re nothing compared to him?

You’re caught in between this endless loop of believing you’re not enough and trying to convince yourself otherwise. You can’t get yourself out of it no matter how hard you try.

Attempting to level your breathing, you splash some cold water on your face and stare at yourself in the mirror. “Pull yourself together.” You whisper to the reflection stubbornly. “The least you can do is enjoy it while it lasts, be happy for him for as long as you can. He deserves that much…” _He deserves better…_

You exhale sharply before drying your face with a towel. Hands trembling the smallest bit, you unlock the door and push it open. Zen is sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, his beautiful features curled into a troubled grimace. Your heart sinks when you see it, not knowing how to make it disappear, replaced by his usual carefree expression. He almost looks more upset than on the first week when you met him, what was it, a few months ago? But this time it’s your fault…

His head turns in your direction when he hears you step into the room and you can see pain ghost through his eyes when they meet yours. “What did I do?” He asks quietly, his voice small and nearly inaudible. His words cut through you and you choke back a sob. “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” He stands up, beer discarded somewhere on the table nearest to where he sat. Stalking over to you he takes your hands and you look down at the floor. “Please, tell me what’s wrong… I can’t take seeing you like this… Do you… Do you n-not…” He stumbles with his words at the end of that sentence, not wanting to hear a confirmation to the question that burns in his mind.

You squeeze your hands around his fingers tightly and feel something wet fall on the back of your left one. You suddenly realise you’re crying and when Zen notices as well his whole world comes crashing down.

“I’m so sorry.” You murmur. Those three little words are so loud in his ears. He feels like they mean what he fears the most.

Pulling your face so that you look up at him, he wipes the tears away with his thumbs, choking back sobs that he isn’t sure he can keep down the more he looks at your sorrowful eyes. “You-” His voice cracks slightly and he closes his eyes, swallowing the lump that’s formed in his throat. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I… I understand.” He tells you, but deep down he doesn’t really understand, he has no idea what he did, where he went wrong. But if this is how you feel, he can’t force you to change that. If you don’t love him anymore…

His thoughts are interrupted by your forehead falling to rest against his chest. “You’ve given me no reason to doubt you and yet… I can’t stop thinking…” You start to say, but the words are too hard. You sniffle into his shirt and Zen’s mind is blank. He’s confused, having no idea what you’re talking about. “Every time I see you with her…”

“What?” Zen asks, disoriented. “With who?”

You force yourself to look up into his crimson irises, rubbing the tears away with the back of your hand. “The female lead…” You mutter, embarrassed to realise you never bothered to learn her name. “She’s so much more beautiful and talented… So much better… And I’m just…”

Zen stares at you, his mouth hanging open and eyes slightly widened, stunned speechless. And then he laughs.

A small sound of bewilderment escapes your lips when you glance up at him. He winds his arms around you and pulls you tight against his chest, still shaking with the short laughs sprinkled with hiccupped sobs in between.

“God, you had me so worried!” He sighs into your hair. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I thought you wanted to leave me…” There’s a light kiss on the top of your head and he breathes out, squeezing you slightly.

Now it’s your turn to feel confused. And honestly a tiny bit angry too, though you’re not exactly sure what at. “Why are you laughing?” You demand, fresh tears leaving you to join the old ones. “You deserve better than me, I’m not good en-”

You’re cut off by his lips crashing into yours, successfully silencing you. Fingers run through your hair and you can’t stop your eyes from drifting closed, enjoying the feeling of him stealing your breath right out of your lungs.

He pulls back mere inches, whispering against your mouth. “Don’t say things like that.” His tone is quiet but stern. “Don’t even think them…”

You open your mouth to protest but as if sensing your intentions he kisses you again, this time letting his tongue slide inside, dancing against yours expertly in an unfair battle for dominance. You melt into his embrace, hands gripping his shirt like your life depended on it. You can taste the remnants of the beer he’d been drinking on his tongue. But underneath that is that distinct flavour that belongs to Zen and him alone. That sweet aroma that sends your head to spinning and makes your knees go weak.

Without warning your legs are lifted off the ground and you yelp in surprise. Those red eyes are piercing through you, lips pulled up in a smirk that borderlines on mischievous but has a strong undertone of unconditional love. He rubs his nose against yours and closes his eyes, just letting himself feel the tender touch.

“You’re perfect just the way you are.” He mumbles, lips fluttering over your cheeks. You scrunch up your nose at the cheesiness of the line and he can’t help but chuckle. “It’s true though.” He offers in his defence, knowing very well what you’re thinking. “You’re the one I love. I won’t ever love anyone like I do you.”

You feel blood rushing to your face at the intensity of his gaze which only grows hotter when he starts leaving butterfly kisses along your jawline until he stops by your ear. Gently, he takes the lobe in between his teeth, nibbling it softly and drawing a gasp out of you.

“But if you don’t believe me… You give me no choice but to show you how much I love you.” He whispers into your ear. The words send a shiver down your spine which elicits another grin from Zen.

Holding you against his chest, your arms around his neck for support, he carries you over to the bedroom, gently letting you down on the bed. You prop yourself up with your elbows and he climbs on after you, like a predator hovering over its prey, one arm and leg on each side of you. His eyes are dark, hungry.

Leaning down, Zen bites your bottom lip, pushing forward so that you fall with your back to the mattress as you bring your hands up to cup his face. In the pit of your stomach you still feel that bitter feeling from before, but with each kiss he leaves on your lips it grows more insignificant. He moves his mouth down to your neck, feather light caresses of his lips on your heated skin leaving a trail of fire wherever he touches. “I will never stop loving you.” He breathes.

You recognise the words from his scene but the way he says them is completely different. What you thought sounded genuine when he acted, now paled in comparison to the real thing. The nuances of his voice, the breathlessness, the aching desperation that lingered behind it…

Zen lets his body press down against your own, teeth grazing against the sensitive patch of skin just under your ear and your breath falters. He smiles against your neck, taking the flesh into his mouth, sucking and licking softly. Your hands move up to touch his silk soft white hair, still tied up neatly behind him. He hums in delight at the sensation, your fingers snaking through his hair and pulling his face closer.

He brings one hand down, sliding over your side on the way to the hem of your shirt where he stops, going underneath it to touch the soft skin hidden beneath. His mouth returns to your own, savouring each second as if it were his last while pulling your shirt further up. His fingers trail up to your stomach, kneading and exploring all while bringing his lips back to your neck.

His kissing trails down to your exposed collarbone, nipping softly before biting down harder and making you suck in a sharp breath, whimpering lowly at the sweet pain. As if suddenly annoyed by the amount of clothing on you, Zen pulls your shirt up and you lift yourself up to ease things without him even having to ask. That little fact pleases him, as it seems you’re more responsive to him and his touch, no longer trying to push him away.

As soon as your top is discarded, he quickly pulls his own shirt over his head and you can’t help but stare with your lips parted open. There’s absolutely no way you can ever get used to how good he looks. He smirks at you, eyes half-closed as he bends back down, picking up right where he left off and continuing down over to your chest. His hands go behind your back which you arch for better access and he unclasps the little strap there with practiced ease.

Eyes glued to you, he lets out a drawn out breath, taking in your figure and you shy away from his intense gaze. “So beautiful…” Zen voices.

You go to cover yourself with your arms and he stops you, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head so you can’t do anything but blush under his scrutinizing eyes. It feels like he’s looking right into your soul and you can’t suppress the shudder that makes you shake ever so slightly. A few more heartbeats of Zen simply admiring your naked body go by, feeling like an eternity of anticipation building up within you. He has completely sequestrated your dark thoughts, the way he looks at you, as if worshipping you like a goddess… You feel unworthy of such admiration still but when his hands make their way over your chest, kneading the flesh with care you forget all about it once more. Even more so when he starts nibbling your ears, every few bites whispering into them.

“You’re so gorgeous and good… I’m so lucky to have you.” He licks the base of your neck before sinking his teeth into it and sucking hard enough to leave a mark and drawing a breathy groan from you. “Mine…” He says lowly, assertive, possessive… “Mine alone.” He repeats with desire dripping from his words, lips crashing into yours for a brief moment.

He finally lets go of your hands to slide down your body, face rubbing against your soft chest before taking a nipple in his mouth, tongue swirling around slowly, agonizingly so… You run your fingers through his hair and he looks up at you, sucking with intent as he watches your expression twist with the pleasure it sends down your spine, moaning through parted lips.

“Ah!” You squeal when Zen bites down, sending an electric jolt of a pleasurable sting through you, fingers involuntarily grabbing handfuls of his locks and pulling his head back.

A rumbling noise comes from deep within his chest, the corners of his mouth twisting into a lopsided grin and eyes closing at the sensation of your tugging. When you realise what you’ve done, and are still doing, you loosen your grip and he doesn’t waste a second before he assaults your other nipple.

You rub your legs together in a desperate attempt for some friction, shifting under his weight, and in doing so, your knee rubs against him over his jeans. He stops suckling to moan at the feeling, the vibrations of his voice only making it that much better. So tentatively, you do it again, intentionally this time, applying a bit more pressure, taking a little longer. You can definitely feel his excitement already.

“Mm…” He groans, lids drifting closed and breaths quickening.

Zen kisses his way up to your throat, over your chin and stopping at your lips, tongue invading your mouth as you keep teasing him through his jeans. You swallow the moans he lets into you, the little sounds creating butterflies in your stomach to flutter throughout your entire body, pooling down at your core.

You both part momentarily to catch your breath and you don’t miss how shallow his breaths are. “You’re driving me crazy like that…” He mutters, voice almost weak.

It filled you with a small sense of pride that you could do this to him with just a few almost innocent touches (even if they were anything but). Your musings are interrupted by one of his legs forcing itself between your own and pushing them apart. He looks down into your eyes, gaze scarlet like the lust coursing through his veins.

“Two can play at that game.” The words come as a warning but on such short notice it’s impossible to stop that gasp when his fingers press against you in a sweet revenge.

You squirm under his touch, whimpering quietly. “Please…” You find yourself pleading, the barrier of clothing between you and him feeling like too much all of a sudden.

“Oh?” He smiles wickedly, rubbing his hand over the inside of your thigh. “Please what?” He asks, sending you a heated glance that makes your cheeks flush a bright pink.

You bite down on your bottom lip, throwing your head back against the mattress and taking in a shuddering breath. Zen doesn’t sit still for long, deciding to occupy himself kissing every inch of your skin while he waits for you to answer his question. His hands run all over your body except for where you actually want them to go and it’s making you impatient.

“Zen…” You mewl as he sucks on a patch of skin on your shoulder and he sounds a short ‘hmm?’ in response, continuing to lick and nibble every sensitive spot you didn’t even know you had. “I want you…”

“I’m all yours, babe, now and forever.” He whispers against your skin, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

Groaning in frustration, you run a hand through your hair, desperate for him to do something, _anything_ more. He can be such a tease when he wants to, he knows exactly which buttons to push to make you beg. He loves hearing you beg.

“Zen please…” You whine, voice shaky and weak. “Touch me…”

“I am.” He replies simply, a thumb flicking over your nipple, in a way to emphasize his words, but really he just wanted to hear that sharp little sound that forced its way out of you. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you… I’ll make you forget all those nasty thoughts inside your head… I will show you what you mean to me.”

Zen looks straight into your eyes, his lips brushing against yours in feather-light touches that leave you wanting more. You lift your head up so that the miniscule gap between you is sealed with a rough kiss, hands framing his face and pulling him closer to you. Hips buck with intent, desperately trying to reach his own. He shakes slightly with a silent laugh, separating from you and cocking an eyebrow questioningly.

“Are you going to tell me or what?” Those red eyes fixate on your own, urging you to say what he wants to hear.

Groaning, you cover your face with your hands. “I…” You start but are at a loss for words. Spreading your fingers to look at his face from between them, you let out a sigh at his amused and expectant expression. “I want you to t-take me.” You stutter, feeling your cheeks heating up beneath your hands from embarrassment. “I want you to do with me as you please, make me squirm and scream, make me yours Zen… Please, I want you to love me like no one else can…”

The corners of his lips twitch upwards and his eyes darken. “With pleasure.” Wasting no more time, his hands move to unbutton your trousers, fingers curling over the top of those and your underwear both. “Lift yourself up for me, love.” He coos and you oblige immediately, allowing him to swiftly pull them down over your hips.

You impatiently kick them off the rest of the way and they fall unceremoniously down to the floor. His hands grab at your thighs and he drags you down so that you’re pressed together, taking your legs to wrap around his waist as he leans down to kiss you feverishly, shoving his tongue forcefully into your mouth. Now the only problem is that he’s still got his pants on… You scramble down to fumble with his fly but he simply swats your hands away with a merciless grin dancing on his lips.

“You don’t get that yet. Not until you have no shred of doubt of how much I cherish you.” He breathes, causing you to whine in childish disappointment to which he laughs softly. He strokes your cheek with his hand and you lean into it, eyes drifting closed. “Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good princess…”

Your breath hitches when you feel his other hand sliding up your thigh, rubbing where it connects to your hip. A shiver runs down your spine and you tremble weakly, your body’s way of wordlessly begging Zen for his touch. He obliges by sliding his fingers over you in one swift motion that makes you gasp, breath quickly stolen by his mouth coming down to meet yours. Your moans drown in the kiss when he presses his thumb against the most sensitive part of you. The sounds you make as he rubs soft circles, the involuntary twitching of your body, the way you tighten your legs around his waist… He lets out a shuddering breath when he pulls away in desperate need of oxygen.

He loves the way you react to the simplest of touches, one small flick and you arch your back ever so slightly, a little more pressure and your fingernails dig into his skin wherever you happen to be grabbing him. “Zen…” You whisper breathlessly, you want more and instead of using words to tell him, you buck into his hand.

He forces his tongue into your mouth once more, tasting you with it, exploring it as if it’s his life’s mission. For a second you think he’s trying to distract you from the aching need you feel deep inside you, until he slides two of his fingers into you with ease, a testament to how ready you are for him. A loud and breathy moan sounds from you, head pressing back into the mattress as you part from the kiss. Your neck fully exposed to him, he immediately plunges down to suck the front of your throat, in such a way that it’s bound to bruise like the one before.

It’s slow and sweet at first, almost like he’s afraid that he can break you. “I love you so much.” He whispers into your ear. “You’re everything to me, my whole world.” Small groans of pleasure leave your lips in short bursts. “Tell me you’ll never doubt that again.” His fingers curl inside you, hitting a spot that makes your vision blur. “Tell me you won’t ever think less of yourself.”

“Z-Zen…” Your words get caught in your throat, thoughts hazed by the intense and mind numbing sensations he’s creating. He’s going faster now, only slightly, but the difference is abysmal especially coupled with his thumb still working tirelessly.

“Tell me.” He growls, teeth closing around your ear.

The noise that comes out of you is nothing short of obscene and it only serves to send a wave of pleasure coursing through Zen’s veins, making him thrust his fingers faster to get more of those sweet sounds. “I won’t.” You finally manage to get out an answer in between pants.

“Good…” He murmurs against your neck. Your heart’s beating hard in your chest, the pressure deep in your being building up steadily. You curl your toes and arch your back against him, fingers gripping at his arms as you bite down on your bottom lip. His pace is unrelenting, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, but when you’re just about ready to burst everything stops. All movement, all sensation… You fall limp, sending him a questioning and disappointed look, your chest still rising and falling quickly from your harsh breathing.

“Not yet princess.” Zen sighs before kissing your lips softly. He brings his hand up from between your legs and licks his fingers from knuckle to tip before taking them into his mouth and closing his eyes with a low hum of appreciation. You swallow harshly, your face feeling as hot as the scene.

Without another word, he leans down, leaving a trail of tender kisses down your body as he slides down it until he’s just above your belly button. He looks up at you through his lashes, a sly smile gracing his features and you shiver in anticipation. Turning his head slightly, he brushes his lips against the sensitive skin of the inside of your thigh while a hand caresses the outside. You meet his gaze when he stares at you out of the corner of his eye.

“I don’t ever want to lose you. Promise me you won’t ever leave me…” Zen’s voice is low and filled with adoration.

“I wouldn’t dream of it…” You say honestly. You want him to love you forever and more.

He smiles into your skin, continuing to peck along your leg, running his hands up and down each one right up to the point where he’s mere inches from where you want him to go. One tentative lick and your hips instantly thrust forward so he holds them in place. Having you satisfyingly restrained, he laps at your juices, tongue lingering at that sensitive little spot and making you squirm slightly.

“You taste heavenly, babe…” The vibrations of his voice make you quiver and those words do nothing to help that matter.

Zen starts licking you more roughly, his tongue tracing loose and uneven circles that have you quickly climbing up to that point where he left you before. You find yourself moving your hips in time with his tongue’s movement, trying to get yourself to tip over the edge, but he’s holding you down firmly so you can’t really move as much as you’d like to. His eyes don’t leave your face the entire time and whenever your gazes meet, blood crawls up to your already reddened cheeks.

Your breaths become shorter and your eyes start rolling to the back of your head, heart pounding faster, moans getting louder and harder to contain. _So close_ , you’re so close… and he stops again. You whimper miserably as the pressure in your stomach slowly dissipates but the burning need remains. You start to wonder if this is some sort of punishment for trying to avoid him on the way home. If it is, it’s rather cruel, even if you might deserve it. Tears start to threaten spilling from your eyes as you huff in a frustrated protest.

He kisses your inner thigh again, gently stroking along the sides of your torso. “It’s okay, you’re going to feel so good, I promise…” Zen soothes, voice sweet as honey and velvety soft. “Trust me.” His eyes lock with yours, sending a flutter of butterflies to your stomach from the intensity of his gaze.

Holding your hips down again he gives small, short licks that, in your overly sensitive state, make you twitch and squirm each time. Your entire body is trembling, the most minor of touches sending your senses into overdrive. You’re aching for release that he just won’t let you have and each little lick is driving you insane.

“Please…” You beg quietly, voice cracking slightly. “Zen, please…”

A broken moan escapes from your lips when his mouth is joined by his fingers pumping into you before you’re even able to finish your pleas. He curls them inside you, just at the right angle, and you grip the bedding beneath you as you try to keep yourself tethered to reality. The room is filled with the sounds of your breathless moans as he continues his ministrations, tongue pressing harder and longer, fingers going faster. You call his name over and over as you quickly get back to that point as if you’re praying to him to “Please, don’t stop…”

The pressure in your core builds and builds and you’re expecting it to be over again when you finally crash over the edge, body quaking and convulsing. Your back arches and you jerk and twitch, vision blurring as the waves of pleasure spread all through your body, from deep inside you to the tips of your curling toes. This time he doesn’t let up, letting you ride out your orgasm as he continues to lick and suck, feeling you clench around his fingers, the world blacking out as you’re nothing but sensations. It starts to get a little overwhelming and he only ceases when your body falls limp, unmoving but for the rising of your chest as you pant and gasp, twitching occasionally from his tongue brushing over you teasingly.

You gasp when he removes his fingers, the feeling sudden and unexpected. Zen crawls back up the bed, licking the juices off of his hand like it was the sweetest candy he had ever tasted, leaning down to crash his mouth to yours in a languid kiss. You can sense your taste on his tongue and can’t help the embarrassment from showing on your cheeks. He snakes his arms under you and pulls you close to him in a loving embrace.

“How was that?” He asks when he pulls back for breath.

Unable to formulate coherent sentences still, you simply sigh, content, one hand running down his chest and over to the front of his jeans where you can still feel his rather obvious arousal. He lets out a short laugh, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“Not satisfied yet, huh?” Zen murmurs playfully.

“Want you to feel good too…” You whisper, finally finding your voice again.

You emphasize your words by undoing the button at the top and bringing down the zipper. There’s a small stain at the front of his boxers that’s very hard to ignore when your eyes drift down between his legs. Sliding your hand inside, you wrap your fingers around him, thumb sliding over the tip and feeling the wetness that has gathered there. The feeling drives a hiss out of Zen, a shiver crawling up his spine and his nails digging into your sides where his hand had been sitting.

Tightening your grip ever so slightly, you slide your hand down before bringing it back up, always using your thumb to massage small, soft circles around the head. He moans loudly, all that time he spent focusing on you having left him all the more sensitive. Out of impulse, he thrusts into your hand, wanting more than just what you’re giving. Shifting slightly, you push against his bare chest, urging him to move so that he’s lying face up the way you were before.

Zen stares up at you, half-lidded eyes expectant and lecherous. Before you’ve even got a second to decide what you’re going to do next, he’s already sitting up while pulling your face down to meet his in a heated kiss. He takes your left leg over to his right side and, wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulls you to him, bodies flushed together, chest to chest. You lower yourself so that you’re sitting on his lap, straddling him, and you make a point of rolling your hips over his _still_ clothed crotch. Both of you moan into each other’s mouths from the feeling that little pressure arises, Zen’s slender fingers running through your hair before going down between you.

In one swift motion, he lifts you up just enough to pull his boxers and pants down, never breaking the feverish kiss you were sharing, tongues clashing in a never-ending battle for control. With one hand he lines himself up and with the other on your hip, he pulls you down, burying himself inside you, a sigh of pleasure finally forcing him to break away from you. You wrap your arms around his neck for support and his forehead comes to rest on your shoulder as he holds you tightly against his chest. Starting out slow, both because you’re still sensitive from before and because you want it to last, you lift yourself up almost over the tip and then go back down over his length. You repeat this motion a few more times before increasing the speed slightly, fingers curling into his white hair and pulling softly, causing him to groan.

Your name leaves his lips in a mix of desperation and overwhelming pleasure and it sends a wave of heat down to your core. Those short yet lascivious moans are like the sweetest music to your ears. “God, that feels so good…” He mumbles, lips closing over your collarbone and sucking gently. “I love you. I love you so much, ah…”

As if getting tired of the slow pace, he grasps your hips firmly, pulling nearly entirely out before forcefully thrusting back into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling your ears as he continues like this. You bite back a moan but can’t contain the breathless noises for long as he keeps the merciless pace, using his hold on your hips to gain leverage and drive himself deeper and harder inside.

Lips latch onto one of your breasts and you feel Zen starting to suckle hard, one of his hands going in between the two of you to rub his thumb against you, still sensitive and raw. Your inner walls clench around him and he moans with your nipple still in his mouth. You throw your head back, panting breathlessly and feeling overstimulated.

His thrusts start becoming more irregular and erratic, somewhat shallower as well, and you can tell that he’s quickly reaching his peak, as are you with his fingers working relentlessly. “Zen… I’m cl…” Your words are cut off by a throaty moan joined by a few of his own.

“I know, me too…” He breathes into your chest, adding more pressure to how he’s moving his thumb in wide circles.

You twitch and curl in on yourself, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. That familiar pressure in your stomach starts building up, Zen’s moans and the obscene sounds that fill the room only adding to the mind numbing sensations that make your knees go weak and your vision go white, every muscling in your body clenching with a desperate need for release that can’t come fast enough. The way he’s moving inside you, hitting that sweet spot every once in a while, coupled with the movement of his fingers has you teetering over the edge for a moment before you come crashing down once more.

Instinctively, you bite down on his neck and he hisses as you convulse and clamp down around him. Not long after, thrusting into you a few more times, and he stills, trembling ever so slightly as your name comes out of him in a chant, little broken moans cutting in between when he reaches his release as well.

The two of you are covered in a sheen of sweat, chests heaving as you try to catch your breaths. Zen’s arms wind around your waist and he falls with his back to the bed, pulling you along with him into a tight embrace. He kisses the top of your head lovingly before carefully lifting you so that he can slide out of you, making you gasp quietly. He pulls his bottoms back up not actually bothering with the zipper and just holding you close, petting your hair with long soft strokes.

“That was amazing.” He mumbles into your hair, giving you a little squeeze for good measure.

You smile and nuzzle your head against his chest, nodding in agreement and sighing happily. “I love you, Zen.”

“Me too.” He closes his eyes, taking everything in and just enjoying your closeness. “Until the end of time.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to read =)


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